Friday, October 29, 2004
Nigerian Scam Scum
I hate 'em. At first I ignored them, but lately...I've had it.
They NEVER learn, apparently. I get this in my email. My answer will follow.
Subj: ASSISTAT NEEDED URGENTLY
Date: 10/28/2004 4:30:03 AM Eastern Daylight Time
From: barr_khalid@tatanova.com
Reply-to: salaam_issa@yahoo.com
To: barr_khalid@tatanova.com
Sent from the Internet (Details)
FROM THE DESK OF DR.SALAAM ISSA
AUDITING AND ACCOUNTING SECTION
BANK OF AFRICA.
OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA-FASO.
Dear Friend,
I am Dr.SALAAM ISSA the director in charge of auditing and accounting
section of Bank Of Africa(BOA) Ouagadougou Burkina-faso West Africa with
due respect and regard. I have decided to contact you on a business
transaction that will be very beneficial to both of us at the end of the
transaction . During our investigation and auditing in this bank, my
department came across a very huge sum of money belonging to a deceased
person who died on October 31st 1999 in a plane crash and the fund has
been dormant in his account with this Bank without any claim of the fund
in our custody either from his family or relation before our discovery
to this development. The said amount was Fifteen million three hundred
thousand dollars (US$15.300.000.00)Meanwhile all the whole arrangement
to put claim over this fund as the bonafide next of kin to the deceased,
get the required approval and transfer this money to a foreign account
has been put in place and directives and needed information will be
relayed to you as soon as you indicate your interest and willingness to
assist us and also benefit your self to this great business opportunity. In
fact I could have done this deal alone but because of my position in this
country as a civil servant(A Banker),we are not allowed to operate a foreign
account and would eventually raise an eye brow on my side during the time of
transfer because I work in this bank. This is the actual reason why it will
require a second party or fellow who will forward claims as the next of kin
with affidavit of trust of oath to the Bank and also present a foreign
account where he will need the money to be re-transferred into on his request
as it may be after due verification and clarification by the correspondent
branch of the bank where the whole money will be remitted from to your own
designation bank account. I will not fail to inform you that this transaction is
100% risk free. On smooth conclusion of this transaction, you will be
entitled to 30% of the total sum as gratification, while 5%will be set aside to
take care of expenses that may arise during the time of transfer and also
telephone bills, while 65% will be for me. Please, you have been adviced to keep
it "confidential" as I am still in service and intend to retire from service after we conclude this deal with you. I
will be monitoring the whole situation here in this bank until you confirm
the money in your account and ask me to come down to your country for
subsequent sharing of the fund according to percentages previously indicated and
further investment, either in your country or any country you advice us to
invest in. All other necessary vital information will be sent to you when I
hear from you. I look forward to receive your email or call as the urgency
implies.Yours faithfully,
SALAAM ISSA.
Now, like I said, old Salaami there just TICKED ME OFF, so I let him have it:
Salaam, you old Ass-licker! Long time no hear from. Who've you been lying to and stealing from all this time? I would call you a used bag of douche-water, but I doubt that douche is a real familiar item in your neck of the slime pit.
Still up to the same old variation on the "Nigerian Scam", I see. Is that still working? You bleed a few thousand off of them, finally get them to travel to Nigeria to finalize things, and that big, hulking, mystery African man beats them up and steals their money, leaving them hurt, broke and terrified in a foreign country? How about you and your lard-ass lackey come by the states? I'll help YOU get it shape. It's called a "Louisville Slugger Tune-up". Make you feel like a new man.
I hope people around the world are getting wise to you dung-beetles the way we are in the states. Or does dung-beetle insult you? Is Shiteater good for you? How about pigfucker? That shouldn't bother you. Your mother was one of those, or you'd have never been littered.
So, my wish for you is great, oozing pustules all over your groin, so that everyone is so repulsed by you, you die diseased and alone.
Even though you're too stupid to get it, I got a joke for ya, too. Well, not really a JOKE, since it's true...but I bet my SALAAM ISSA bigger than yours!
