Thursday, December 16, 2004
Destination, Captain?
Shatner says, "Out there", leans back, flicks and hand and says, "Thataway."
I am struggling with this blogging business. Kevin, old friend BigHominid, seems to have clear directions and interesting topics. Try the "Scary Spasms" link at the bottom of my blog.
Julie, Imp Queen and World Monarch, with her Persephone blog, is already being nominated for online awards. Wait till she starts posting about sex. The colors will bleed and run on your monitor. Or spurt, as it were.
Maybe that's my problem. Maybe I should get onto the sex thing. Trouble is, I'm just not inspired lately. Also, I'm not getting laid. I'm still dieting and being all obese and stuff. My memories are intact, of course, and for some reason seem to be streaming through my dreams lately.
My life consists of doing my job, taking care of my father, the pets, and fighting a losing battle to break my packrat impulses and keep my house in decent working order. That's not much of a life. There are friends who drift in and out, there is ALWAYS my computer, which has become a huge part of my online life.
There was a time, after I discovered how to get porn on the net for free, when I had over 100 floppies full of nekkid pics, divided into categories as diverse as "great face" to "fisting". Then I got a CD burner and installed it, and whoooooo BAYBEE, it was open season! I burned copies of it for guys at work.
Know what I did with all that porn? Dumped it. That's right. Everything off the hard drive, erased most of the floppies, tossed the CDs. Ran most of it through a software shredder so there's no getting it back. I'm never gonna meet those girls. I'm never gonna do those girls. Time to give up the online obsession. If I want nekkid girls from now on, I'll have to go meet them and persuade them toward nekkidness. I think I'm being mentally healthy for once. It scares me a tad.
Yet another discovery of mine is, if you can't find potential lovers online, you're just not trying.
I don't care if you're the biggest geek and loser in history, you'll find someone interested in talking to you and eventually meeting you. Some of them will burn their own frequent flyer miles to come meet you. It's amazing. Lot of lonely people out there.
I supposed it's nothing to brag about, but I was one of the early victims who lost a spouse to an online relationship. The spouse was pretty much worthless, fortunately, but the guy she hooked up with is a DORK. That's a little embarrassing. I guess it proves my earlier point, anyway. He's a successful, nearly wealthy dork, and that made all the difference.
Damn. I can't even blog well about sex. Oh well. I'll find my niche, or I won't.
In real life, what I usually am is an advisor. All kinds of people come to me with all kinds of problems. I listen without judging. I advise with no personal agenda. I'd have been a great shrink, I think. Dr. Feelbetter. I'd also make a dandy gas station attendant, but they don't have those anymore. My Dad was one, long ago. They issued uniforms, even HATS. Very cool.
If I knew how to import pictures into this blog, I'd show you. There's this cute little program I downloaded that supposedly makes it simple. It's useless, far as I can tell.
Well, guess we'll try again later. One sex blog, down the tubes. Woe is me.
My blog has no specific direction, but I do have a few pet topics. It's a great place for me to indulge them, holding forth on whatever comes to mind.
The ulterior motive behind the blog, of course, is no different from what it was when I was posting in the Humor Department: to generate material for a book.
I'm busily editing my ms for the religion book now. Life has a purpose. I think I might keep using the blog this way, perhaps creating a Scary Spasms 2 or a Buddhism as Explained by My Ass.But even more than all that crap is the simple urge to write for the pleasure of writing. Fuck the rest.
BTW, I've been enjoying your posts, even if I'm not linking to them the way I should.
Kevin
One of these days I'm going to sit down with you and introduce you to the wolf-spirit, and you'll know, once and for all, you should NOT eat dog. Now eating doggie STYLE, that's a different matter we'll pursue another time...I know this little club, sort of out-of-the-way, where the lap dances are steamy...ok, let's let that go for now.
I HOPE I can find my stash of original 1960s protest patches. On the odd chance they show up, I will bequeath you the lot of them to carry on into the future. If not, I'll dig some up from Shuttle launches. That should make the techno-geeks goggle at you, anyway.
Thick green nose ejaculate,
Arnie
<< Home
