Wednesday, December 01, 2004
Yo! Elitist Scum! Listen up, y'all.
A very nice woman sent this to me tonight. She's a northerner, so I didn't expect her to feel the annoyance I did. Maybe I'm just tired; maybe I've heard it once too often. But, here we go. Ready?
YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK IF
. . . . . . it never occurred to you to be offended by the phrase, "One nation, under God ."
. . . you've never protested about seeing the Ten Commandments posted in public places.
. . . you still say "Christmas" instead of "Winter Festival."
. . . you bow your head when someone prays, you are not ashamed for everyone to know you go to church on Sunday.
. . . you stand and place your hand over your heart when they play the National Anthem.
. . . you treat Viet Nam vets with great respect, and always have
. . . . you've never burned an American flag.
. . . you know what you believe and you aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.
. . . you respect your elders and expect your kids to do the same.
. . . you'd give your last dollar to a friend.
We have enjoyed the redneck jokes for years. It's time to take a reflective look at the core beliefs of a culture that values home, family, country and God. If I had to stand before a dozen terrorists who threaten my life, I'd choose a half dozen or so rednecks to back me up. Tire irons, squirrel guns and grit -- that's what rednecks are made of. I hope I am one of those. If you feel the same, pass this on to your redneck friends.
For some reason, this just annoyed me. Something isn't clicking. The sentiment is ok, but there at the end...NO. Hell no. I'd pick any half-dozen American soldiers and not give a rancid rat's ass WHERE they came from to back me up. And that's not knocking rednecks. I wouldn't dream of it, for one simple reason: I AM A REDNECK. My great-great grandparents moved over here from Alsace-Lorraine. They were Germans, I hasten to add. No French in this blood.
I spent my early years in Oklahoma, my later ones in Florida. So I've been Cowboy, Redneck and Cracker all three. I know the rules, the standards, the codes of conduct.
I think what I'm offended about is all the people out there who AREN'T rednecks. They should read this and feel the urge to chastise someone in the way they deem appropriate.
I've had the pleasure of meeting a LOT of "conservatives" and "sorta conservatives" during this last run for the presidency. They come from everywhere, Maine, Massachusetts, Cali-freakin'-fornia, Washington State, New York, Delaware...you get the idea. And my black belt fist fightin' redneck ass is NOT the only kind that will stand up for decency, who takes pride in being an American, who will do what SHOULD be done no matter who's watching.
As Americans, we acknowledge that our ancestors did some really shitty things to the natives. Some of that has been redressed by the courts. I remember a woman a few years ago who got a nice little cash settlement when some people from her tribe with law degress discovered a treaty the U. S. Government had violated and sued hell out of them.
The Indians turned us on to tobacco. Talk about REVENGE.
They're bleeding the gamblers dry in their casinos. Good for them. My point here is, they have the reservation if they want it. They have TONS of bleeding hearts offering them any kind of help they want. Basically, they're people. Some are making it big in Hollywood, in business, wherever. If they care to, they can move off the Res and buy some land back. Last time I visited the big Cherokee store in Oklahoma, I asked one of the guys if most of the junk they were selling was really made by Indian women. "Hell no," he said, "old white women do it cheaper and faster."
Black Americans make more money than any group of black folk anywhere in the world. They fought tooth and nail for what they have, and continue to fight to make sure it's not taken away.
I'm not mad at them. I see a black man, I see an EQUAL UNDER THE LAW AND BEFORE GOD. He's not better than me; I'm not better than him. If several hundred thousand honkie dumbasses had figgered that out about a hundred freakin' years back, things would be even smoother between black and white. Frankly, I get more out of holding a door open for an old black woman than I do a young white one. The black women usually look startled, then meet my eye and say a sincere "Thank you." (Actually, about every minority of any race is the same way). The while girls look at me like "so what? It's all you're good for."
I know, sounds like I'm wandering off the point, but I'm not. They're AMERICANS, each and every one. I treat people with politeness and respect, as fellow Americans, and I get nothing back but POSITIVES. It doesn't have ONE DAMN THING to do with me being redneck. My cousin D, fresh down here from Oklahoma, wearing 12-pound Rodeo Rider belt buckles, pointy-toed boots and straw cowboy hat, behaves exactly as I do. He holds doors for ANYBODY. He meets eyes and nods in mutual respect. He talks bad about no man till that man has personally burned him.
So, to meander like an old river to a conclusion, you Ivory-tower elitists in the colleges, you ranting radical leftists who passed up the original Democratic ideals and hooked up with the very nastiest of bedfellows, yes, you butt-sauce socialists, communists and Islamic radical dung, I'm talking about you, just keep on thinking it was Rednecks that re-elected Bush. Maybe we can keep some stupidity OUT of the white house a few more years. Or, listen to the PULSE of this country, to the people who are simply tired of being told what's "correct" and what's not, and you'll find out for yourselves, if you manage to open your minds. I was about to ask you to drop the whole "redneck" perception you've built up but...stick with it. It looks good on ya.
