Monday, May 02, 2005
Hatred, Anger & Stupidity
My Mom, devout fundamentalist Christian that she was, taught me I was never to hate anyone. She said, "You hate the sin, you love the sinner." Mom had been a "seeker" all her life. Her belief in God from childhood was unshakeable; her view of how to properly serve him had its problems. She attended a variety of churches, seeking what she believed was "The Way".
Well, sadly, her youngest (of 11) brother and fellow Seeker Of The Way, found a church he believe filled ALL their criteria. He worked on the entire family (Bible discussions were not uncommon during weekends at Grandma's. Neither was blackberry cobbler and homemade ice cream.)
What he had found was a huckster named Herbert W. Armstrong, founder and Apostle of the Worldwide Church of God. At the time, it was a rapidly-growing group. Herbert was a character; smooth talking, powerful speaker, and his message was designed to promote paranoia and fear in its listeners, at least the ones he'd already hooked.
Later, his son Garner Ted Armstrong, took over most of the radio sermons, and later the TV show. Garner Ted had tattoos of topless Hula dancers on his forearms. That's why he always wore long-sleeved shirts. He's had a rebellious time as a young lad, enlisted in the Navy, and gone adventuring.
Well, Unkie kept at the family, and converted about half of them, including Mom. One thing Herbert (or Herbie as I'll refer to him henceforth) banned was the celebration of anyone's birthday. Something about it detracting from worshipping Jesus. Actually, it cut into the tithes he demanded. So, as of age 6, I got NO birthday cake, and only a couple of presents my paternal grandparents kept at their house for me.
The Church's teachings were much like a cancer; they spread slowly until they had taken over every aspect of your life. The "Hook" that Herbie and Garnie used was classic; there's a section in the Bible about Armageddon, where a few of God's best will be smuggled and hidden in Petra, which is a nasty spot somewhere in the middle east. Well, WE were God's One True Church. Everybody else was wrong. We held sabbath services on Saturday. We observed the Jewish Holidays, the ancient ones. Feast Of Tabernacles, Passover, Days Of Unleavened Bread, some fast day I don't remember the name of.
ALL the faithful paid 10% of their Gross income to the Church as Tithe. The Church, in turn, built Colleges in Pasadena, California, Big Sandy, Texas and in England. Once they were established, it pretty much was the only way to become a minister in the church. The ministers received a salary, car, and assistance purchasing a home in their area.
We unwashed faithful also were required to save a SECOND tithe of 10% of our gross incomes, to be spent on travel, food and lodging when we traveled to the feast. Of course, there were "love offerings" required, and a clever one called "Empty Your Pockets Of Change".
Every 3 years on a 7-year cycle, you had to cough up yet a THIRD tithe for "The Widows And Orphans". Somehow, my parents got special permission to give that to my widowed grandmothers, so every 3 years they made out like bandits. I don't begrudge my grandmothers that money; but the ONLY college education my parents could afford for me was due to the generosity of a dying great-uncle, who left a small stipend to my mother. I had to pile on the heaviest courseload I could handle and take CLEP in order to graduate in a year from the local community college. Why? So there would be enough left for my brother to go, too.
There were other requirements. Males were to have SHORT hair, near-military standards. Sideburn length was restricted, mustaches were corner-cut, and beards were discouraged. Males were NOT to have bangs; our hair was to be combed UP in front. I gotta tell you, in the 1960s, that made you stand out rather drastically. The girls had it no easier. NO makeup, NO short hair, NO thin blouses, ALL dresses/skirts below the knee. Women and girls were NOT to wear pantsuits, the trend at the time. God help them if they came to church in such a getup. Corporal punishment to a severe degree was encouraged; the minsters seldom intervened unless a child was being genuinely beaten.
We were not to smoke, drinking to excess was verboten, the usual religious stuff. Herbert taught that the scattered 12 tribes of Israel were actually the white European races. France was one, England another, the United States another. Surprisingly, we were to treat other races as our equals under God, but there was to be no mixed marriage.
Dating was banned until 16, and then it had to be social situations with a lot of people and chaperones. There was no allowance for disobedience; you were simply a rebellious child, and it was your parents' duty to pound your ass back into line. My sexual instructions at puberty was to keep my hands off girls, no kissing, no touching, no nothing. I'd understand later on. By age 12, I'd decided this batch of loonies did NOT belong to God, and if they did, God had some serious flaws. As my father was gradually sucked into the influence of this cult, the fights around our house grew in proportion and intensity. My surfing took on a spiritual significance for me. Every time I splashed out into the ocean, it felt like a layer of dirt was washing off me, and I felt pure and clean. My problems stopped and started at the water's edge. Learning to understand the ocean, to read its moods and patterns, to fit myself into the waves at the exact right spot became my religion.
Yet another requirement was old-testament eating requirements. I was an adult before I ever tasted lobster or shrimp.
Well, Herbie and Garnie are dead now. Not soon enough, and their poison isn't ended. There are like 109 or more splinter groups from the original church. There are websites out there dedicated to helping escapees from the church heal, others to badmouthing the church and harassing current members. There is a site for former members who hate God and have become Satanists. I will probably blog about this again, so you've been warned.
When I got to Community College, my English teacher was expounding on The Church one day, and I interrupted him and corrected some misinformation he had. He began asking questions, and I told him I'd been a member until I was kicked out at 16. He was fascinated. Part of the church's teaching was to stay low-key to avoid persecution. He had never met a person who would admit belonging to the church, even though there were over 100,000 members, mostly in the U.S.
Admittedly, I suffered FAR less than many of the other kids; my parents had a conscience, and an unwavering love for my rebellious butt. They couldn't kick me out or turn their backs on me.
And, though I'm required to forgive, and "Love the sinner", I hate those two assholes. Digging them up and pissing on them would be an occasion for joy. They ruined a big part of my life, and they were preaching false gospel and knew it.
To this day, I'll occasionally dip a shrimp in sauce, and just before devouring it say, "Fuck you, Herbert."
Even Mom, before she died, had mostly walked away from the church's doctrines. She decided, in the end, "It's all about love. Love is all that matters."
So, love to you all.
