Thursday, December 15, 2005
Fistful of Fritos
I had nothing in the house to eat for breakfast this morning. Had some phone calls to make, some online research, and my ever-present email to weed through. So, I decided in the interest of keeping my heart pumping and not totally destroying my diet, I'd eat 15 Fritos and that would be it till I hit the grocery store.
Of course, getting involved in email, I lost track of how many I'd eaten.
I picked one up, and in my raspiest whisper said, "In all this excitement, I've forgotten if I ate 14 of you or 15. Do you feel LUCKY, PUNK? Well DO YA?"
The Frito had no comment, so I ate it.
The cat was staring at me.
"Man's got to know his limitations," I told her as I rolled up the bag.
She said something like "Mrowrf" and wandered into the kitchen.
Now, while I'm fluent in Dog, I've not mastered Cat. Either she was saying, "Your Clint Eastwood sucks" or "you're kind of pathetic." Cats are very ironic.
I followed her into the kitchen, replenished her food bowl and said, "Maybe it's time I sped up that "Get A Life" program, huh?"
"Mrurf" she said and dove into the food bowl.
I'm pretty sure that meant "Just so you feed me on time."
One day I'll get another puppy. That'll fix her smartass attitude.
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